Yesterday I was fairly calm as we entered the oncology reception room. As it was my first visit, they whisked me off to the oncology social worker with my supporters in tow (Mom and Ian). There we had a chat for about 30 minutes and then we went to the chemo room. The room is fairly nice with about 20 reclining chairs and 2 beds. The beds are only for people who cannot sit anymore. I chose a circle of chairs that were empty, supporters still with me. The chemo nursing staff are unbelievable, you just cannot imagine a more special group of people. After some talking and explanation of the process, my left arm and hand was warmed to find a suitable vein. The needle was inserted and the first of about 10 bags / bottles of my cocktail started dripping in. I just could not contain my emotions any more, quiet a few tears were released by me and my supporters. This is so so real now, no escaping it anymore. (Maybe the pathologist made a mistake and I don’t have cancer). I guess about 2 litres of stuff was dripped into me in across a 5 hours time span. All this liquid in my body means that my bladder needs relieving. I did this twice alone but with the IV needle in my left hand, it is quite difficult to pull down your panties and pants, let alone get them up again. On the 3rd need to wee Ian goes with me and we huddle into the tiny toilet with drip stand in tow. Ian comments “we can join the mile high club now!”. I give him a sarcastic smile back…. All men think of!! Then whilst Ian is hoisting up my panties/pants he tells me how sexy I look today (see, it is still on his mind).
Saw my oncologist Dr L after the session and asked her a few more questions including asking for some paper work she needs to complete for certain work insurance policies. At home I am dizzy, really tired and all my joints aching. Had a very early dinner and was in bed by 2030.
Had a full 10 hours sleep and did not feel too bad today. I can feel the nausea brewing but the tablets keep it at bay. Just very tired with aching joints and had quite a few naps today.
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11 comments:
Alida you have the support of people all over, even people who in the past were simply "just there". Draw strength now from all these energies that are ralied around you, as from here onwards the journey is one of that of a survivor.
Give your family and friends this URL. It is much easier for them to read it themselves than for you to explain it.
As a bonus, they may think of some questions to ask your doctor that you would never had.
The best and most important questions I never thought of asking came from my husband and sisters after visiting my site.
Stay positive.
Vivienne
Hi Alida,
Sorry I didn't send you comments yesterday. As you know it sometimes can get pretty hectic ( bad excuse, hé )! It's always nice to read your blog and to almost feel how you are feeling. The uncertainty must be terrible for you, but somebody told me you should not worry. And I am sure he's right. Big hug from me.
Must have logged on 50 times to check if you'd posted...wondering how you were feeling, how you are feeling, how you will be feeling. Wondering if you'd be up to posting at all. Even managed to press altogether the wrong button (still haven't figured out what the heck I did) and landed up on a porn site...I kid you not! Hope you're laughing.
So glad you did pop on.
You're a brave hero and we are all routing for you.
Ei&J
Thought of you all day yesterday and again today. Also kept on checking whether you had updated. Eventually couldn't wait anymore and sms'ed you.
Glad you have such a divine 'posse' of supporters. And what a cute husband!
Keep on keeping on, my friend. Proud of you.
xx
You're constantly in my thoughts, sending you love and light xx
Dear Alida, thought you had your first treatment on Monday? I also kept on going in Monday, Tuesday but thought you might not be up to publishing anything. I am glad that you are doing ok... making up on all the outstanding sleep at least? May you feel better every day. Your candle is lit...
Dear Alida I know what Ei feels like as I had the same experience. Leave a comment and when you look nothing is there. Thinking of you and the family and prayers are with you as you have all those cocktails.
Love Jean
Well the first hurdle is over ... well done .... I am thinking of you.
You are so brave and becoming such an inspiration to so many people. The more I think of the situation you find yourself in now the more positive I become that it's a test you have to pass to go on to the next stage in your life and get that much closer to fulfilling your purpose. Everything you have experienced up until now has prepared you for this and this in turn will prepare you for the next leg of the journey.
Stay strong, and when you're not feeling strong or positive I trust that there will always be someone there to give you the boost you need.
You are always in my prayers.
Lots of love.
Your strength is uncanny...still praying for your SPEEDY recovery and remission is just around the corner !!!!
I find it quite emotional reading what you are going through, remember you are always in my thoughts & prayers. I believe you have the strength & will power to pull through this... it will not be easy. Take strength from your large support network family & friends that care & love you. What I find heart-warming is that through all these trials you still manage to bring in some humor, which I believe is crtical for your recovery.... Love from the Carolissen's
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