Thu 08 Nov 2007 Feeling more positive

I can hardly believe the first week of November has passed. Mom is nearly halfway through her 4 week visit. Dylan and Sean love Ouma’s cooking with each meal being a special request. Sean is spending many hours in the kitchen with Ouma learning her cooking techniques to help out on the evenings when I am not feeling too good. Next week Mom is going to be cooking up a storm to provide some frozen meals for the future. Even Dick (my youngest brother) has asked my mom to come to his home for a day…. to cook up a storm for them too. Nothing beats Mom’s cooking!!
I am feeling much better today on the emotional level, though I do have a sore hip. It is the same discomfort I had before the operation which I put down to the tumour. It is a little concern that I need to chat to Dr L about. I have had a very steady flow of visitors yesterday and today, and we are starting to apply boundaries in the afternoon for me to have my siestas.

Wed 07 Nov 2007 Emotional battle

Last night I sneezed and the tissue was covered in blood. Strange how everybody reacts when one has cancer, even a little blood from the nose becomes a big concern. The colour of the blood was more the issue for me – it was pink! Sean glanced at me and said “Oh, I have learnt about that in science, you have no red blood cells!” Another reality to face for me! The family were all in bed by 10pm and I sat around a bit longer reading the book that the boys bought me. Then the tears came, big emotional sobs…. Like I sobbed in the beginning when getting the news… I am even crying again as I write this…. I just feel so helpless in the battle… even my tears are not salty…. I just wish I could do more to help my body recover… I am on a special diet (no fat, no red meat) and have special vegetable/fruit drinks…. I take a handful of vitamins/minerals twice a day. What more can a 'normal' person do ?

Tue 06 Nov 2007 Aromatherapy Massage

I have promised myself that I would spoil myself during this challenge. The first being a full body massage between each chemo. I might even add in a facial but Mom is getting that today. On the massage front I am going to the salon with all my own carrier and essential oils as I am not sure what the salon uses. At the salon there was a lovely rose on my massage bed, just for me.


This morning was quite hectic with a steady stream of visitors and phone calls. Dr L has completed the medical reports for my employer and these are being delivered to me tomorrow.
Dylan and Sean were both home today on ‘study’ day. It is hectic with them both home and it is reminding me of the 7 weeks that start 30 Nov.
I am feeling good but get tired very quickly. It is now 3 weeks since the hysterectomy and I can start walking to build up my fitness levels.

Mon 05 Nov 2007 Pathologist visit

Today I had to go for my first blood test, just a full blood count as my red and white cells are now at their lowest. This also means that my immune system is at it lowest (7 – 10 days post chemo). All sick people and shopping malls are to be avoided for the next few days. As I am not allowed to drive yet, I have had to all on my chauffeuring services once again. Thank-you Anet and Malinda. After the pathologists we popped in at the NG Church Stellenberg (Monday morning is their quietest time) – they have the most fantastic Christmas craft market annually, this year they have 188 exhibitors. I could not keep my eyes open this afternoon – just goes to show that my body is not 100% fit, a little outing and I am buggered!

Sat Sun 03 04 Nov 2007 Side effects settle

I am a bit more in the mood for writing this week-end.

On Tuesday morning as Dylan was saying good-bye to go to school, I was really weepy and asked “What if all this chemo is all for nothing? What if it all does not work”? Well, was I in for a surprise – Dylan did not offer any hugs or sympathy, just became really assertive “What have you always taught us… you must think positive… how would I pass my exams if I went into them thinking that I am going to fail. YOU KNOW this disease is all about your emotional thinking”!!! How was that – I got a kick in the arse from my own son !! (I am actually quite proud of him – all the years of moulding have paid off).

Have I ever mentioned that I am stubborn – ha ha ha ha. Dr L provided a medicine script on Thursday last week for all my side effects, which also covered a 5 days cortisone course. Well, I have not been taking the cortisone for my rash and Ian has been looking all over to Camomile essential oil. He eventually found it today and guess what – it is working miracles on the rash (which is now all over my body). Marietjie popped around yesterday with a goody bag from the health shop and I will continue to take the products to increase my body alkaline levels. I hope all these natural products reduce the side effects in Chemo round 2.

Friday, Saturday and today we had a gentle flow of visitors which meant I did not get my afternoon siestas, but I did manage to sleep each evening without a sleeping tablet. My joints are feeling much better and the nausea has settled (for 2 weeks)!

Fri 02 Nov 2007

Today was pretty much the same as yesterday. The pharmacy did not have anti-inflammatory tablets in stock yesterday and promised to delivery them. As I post this I still don’t have them!!! Makes me mad!!!

Thu 01 Nov 2007 Chemo side effects

Bad day. Headache. Really bad skin rash. Feels like I have got gout in every joint (not that I have ever had gout before). Dr L provided a medicine prescription to counter all the side effects. On the good side, the nausea has settled.